


That we'll laugh at in a year

by GingerHoran



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Intelligence - Freeform, Police officers, Spies, Undercover, criminal lack of Louis, genius, internships, my baby tommo, scientist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-01 16:35:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerHoran/pseuds/GingerHoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Harry become spies- to protect Niall whose got an 196 IQ; therefore a genius.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You made it all alright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Hiya babes, don't worry this is only part 1, of a humorous and angsty sort of cliff hanger pieces.  
> This is dedicated to my Ziall wifey, Amy, for her beautifully stunning magnum opus 'you're my b-side.'  
> Amy hope you like this little spy thingy, errr not much else to say.
> 
> Title taken from How by The Neighbourhood.

Everyone's pretty exhausted that Monday morning- Mondays are always pretty shit so Zayn's not all that surprised, the chief detective inspector only fleetingly notices Zayn amongst the crowd around his desk, much too inundated with shouting colleagues and complaining senior officers.

It's out of control.

Zayn has always been pretty sneaky, always been that stupid kid in high school to woopie cushion teachers and be an all round immature douche during the whole of his school career, he's pretty proud to be honest.

Pulling out the Manila file from under his boss's nose is pretty easy, the mans largely built with thick arms and thick eyebrows, he's much too busy trying to ignore his seniors buzzing his large desk phone and constant papers in and out, sign this, sign that.

"Styles'," Mr Wright the chief commander calls, voice bellowing around the office making the boy want to cover his bursting ear drums with the curly hair in abundance but he couldn't disrespect his boss that way, not when he wants to keep this internship intact.

Harry grunts in reply- throwing Zayn a look of despair over the sliding panel separating their shabby desks- before popping his head into the elder mans office, and sitting at the leather bound chair in front of the large cherry red desk.

"Styles," the bald man says again, squinting his greying eyes at the paperwork before him and looking over at the boy himself, all bright eyed and young, it's pretty obvious how he fiddles himself out of paperwork duties.

"Look boy, I've been asked for some fresh faced kids to send up to the superintendent, you look good enough. Hop on up to level 10, yeah?"

Harry nods once, twice for good measure, eyeing up the balding man again for hint of a lie, before lifting himself out of the chair and going to find Zayn.

Zayn's coffee ends up everywhere.

"What!"he splutters through laughter and Harry groans biting his lip and fiddling with his fingers, he's not really sure whether to seem eager and head straight up there or to hold back, stay relaxed and take his time.

Before he can make an informed decision though, he sees a few opened envelopes scattered over Zayn's desk, amongst rubber bands and scribbles, he raises his eyebrows and makes grabby hands at the paperwork.

"What is it Zayn?" He hisses after several minutes of squabbling and childish jabbing in the ribs, some of the younger women working over in the forensic department who'd previously taking a liking to the young Uni students, now sat with unamused eyes.

Zayn bared his teeth and tried to nip at Harry's fingers, bursting into laughter when the boy flailed and landed ass first on the carpet, hair a mess and face burning.

"Serves you right," Zayn mocks in a sing-song voice, standing up taking a sip of his shitty office coffee, tucking the papers beneath his armpit and stalking out of the office.

Harry watches him disappear into an elevator with a scowl, before making his own way onto the top floor, to meet the doom that awaits for him.

On the top floor there's a boy with doe eyes and an innocent face, introducing himself with a warm smile ("Liam, nice to meet you.") and guiding Harry along the fraudulence department towards two large metal doors.  
  
"Mr Styles, please take a seat?"

Harry did, a bit of déjà vu bubbling into his stomach as he quickly scanned the modernly furnished office with little executive toys and simple gallery standard art work, all very boring and uncreative.

"We've been monitoring your progress Mr Styles- well both yours and Mr Malik's- and recently a new case has arose, a case with serious notoriety which needs some amateur undercover work that would help us most tremendously."

Harry was stunned, scratching at the seams of his pants with furrowed eyebrows; it's all a bit strange really an hour ago he was cleaning out shelfs in the archive coughing up dust bunnies, now the sergeant is giving him a promotion, he feels like a fucking secret agent.

Clearing his throat with a cough of fake disinterest."Of course sir, seems like an opportunity both myself and Mr Malik cannot refuse."

Sergeant Billows chuckles throatily, threading his stubby fingers atop the wooden desk. "Very well son, I'll send down a team later this week. You'll been informed of all happenings as soon as possible," he nods accordingly, smiling weakly with yellowing teeth at Harry and gesturing for him to leave.

Zayn's not particularly happy when he get awoken a little past three in the morning by pebbles been thrown at his window, it's all a little bit too much Romeo and Juliet and romanticism except there's no hot guy on a shiny Harley, but Harry dressed in sweats and jingling the keys to his shitty ford fiesta.

"What the fuck are you doing Haz," he half shouts blearily out of his open window his eyes glued together with sleep and his limbs craving the warmth of his bed.

"I'll never let go, Jack. I promise." He whispers dramatically , gazing into the stars dreamily and pretending to sob into his elbow and wipe fake impending tears, when he's really only shaking from laughter.

Zayn tsks, rolling his eyes stupidly, slipping on his trainers, some old jeans and a grubby hoodie, before joining the stupid little man-child to head off on their little mission.

"So?" He questions once they've silently trekked to the pretty little moonlit lake next to their old high school, it looks exactly as they both remember with moss covered benches and little shiny pebbles dotted around the water feature; bringing back memories of when they used to pelt each other with violent shouts of 'Oi,watch out!'.

Zayn shivers in the cold cursing himself for not slipping on a shirt beneath his tatty university hoodie, Harry seems all warmed up in a fluffy Parker- cheeky little bastard Zayn thinks, he's always trying to get back at him in little ways, it's why they have been friends for so long.

"We're spies, Sergeant Pepper said we have the looks and the books, we're going undercover for some notorious case," Harry says with a little grin, little speckles of emerald glinting in his eyes out of excitement, before he turns to face Zayn and flashes his dimples.

"Wow," Zayn says with an fake gasp. Smacking his hands against his lips and stepping forward to shove a few stones at his feet into the lake.  
"That's bloody funny, well to make it clear I'm batman, you're robin."

When Harry pouts and steps forward ready to argue his case- he's been using the same excuse since they were 11, yeah you're taller Harry but come on whose more good looking.  
Zayn only thwacks the boy on the back sending him toppling into the lake.

"Dick!" Harry shouts, watching Zayn run from the lake giggling like a fool, whilst removing some sticky grassy substance from his perfect curls.

***

Zayn figures another peek at that stolen paperwork couldn't hurt, he has only skim read over it in bed in his pyjama whilst at home getting instantaneously bored of the case numbers and addresses, it was all extremely boring and Zayn wanted something dangerous, some sort of dirty little secret.

Something does shock him though, a fact file stapled to the back of a huge Manila file filled with sheets and sheets of encrypted numbers every few lines circled in red felt tip, the screaming 'TOP SECRET' on the front only bringing anticipation bubbling forth into Zayn's stomach.

"This is shit," he sighs as he geta halfway through the file, it was just a load of complete bullshit and numbers he had no care for, he'd always been pretty poor in Maths so he doubted that he'd have the famous light bulb moment.

Taking a sip of the coffee on his table and scrunching his face in disgust, he quickly pops his head out of the cubicle to see where Harry is, watching him try to flirt with a red lipped secretary from the Health department and laugh at his lip biting, before turning back to the file.

As he flips the file shut, deciding to actually get some work done as an intern, after all, he is getting paid, maybe he should photocopy those files slapped onto his desk that morning or spell check those emails by the secretary with the scarily short skirt.

The files shut, but as he opens that empty drawer that's slides beneath his desk, it's filled with scrap paper and random paper aeroplanes that Harry wrote dirty messages on and threw at his face from the other side of the room- The department of Homicide and forensics was not happy- a little post stic note slides out onto his shoes, intrigued he picks it up and gasps involuntarily.

***

"Oh good morning Mr Malik how are you enjoying the interns-,"

Zayn glowers, slamming the brown file onto the detective inspectors desk, some sheets flying around the small office and causing a few people around to gaze over with keen interest.

"What's this!" He demands, he knows he's overstepping the boundaries a little as he's not even taken full advantage of the opportunity that he's been given and the man has full power over the reference that Zayn's teacher receives, but this is serious.

The chief detectives eyebrows furrow and he takes a quick look at the file before stalking over to his office door and shutting it, a little bubble of anxiousness sits in Zayn's stomach but when gestured with a firm hand to sit he does.

The balding mans sits rather tensely in his leather bound swivel chair clasping his hands on the desk and sweeping his eyes across Zayn, the paperwork spread out across the desk, the splatter of numbers.

"Nobody else has seen this." He says, eyebrows raised as if asking Zayn to try and question him. Zayn simply shakes his head briskly in reply, not wanting to aggravate the man, but still wanting to get to the bottom of this thing.

The detective inspector sits back in the chair, relaxing just a little but Zayn doesn't want him to relax, he wants it all explained to him, everything.

"Why is my boyfriends name tagged to this 'Top Secret' file?" He questions angrily, his hands doing motions to interpret the quotation marks.

"You mean Niall Horan?"

"Yes I bloody well mean Niall Horan, my boyfriend, the boy that I've been dating for the past year and a half," Zayn breathes through his nose, watching the inspector just sit at the table, not responding just sitting.

"Well Mr Malik, Niall Horan is part of the underground nuclear bomb science association, he's the youngest genius in the United Kingdom and is under the police protection programme."

Zayn only scoffs.  
  
***

  
They're invited up to the fourth floor that lunchtime Liam - who Harry had heard was the newly appointed junior superintendent- greeted them at elevators, his arms opening out to what used to be a clattering jumble of desks that's now a wide expanse of floor.

There are several tables placed together to create an oblong, with a several whiteboards plastered with photographs that create a messy triangle of hierarchy with one familiar face just below the top.

A large burly man greets them as they all sit down, before sliding over some paperwork of what he explains are facts and figures outlining the basis of the genius programme that Niall has been enrolled in.

"Niall Horan aged 19, born September 13th 1993 Mullingar, Westmeath, Ireland. IQ recorded as 196 on August 1st 2008, he was aged 15."

Harry turns to Zayn, mouthing the words Niall, before turning back to pay attention to Mr Dowell who coughs at the gesture, feeling rather like a scolded child.

Zayn feels like a cigarette. It's all just a bit overwhelming at the moment, the boy he's loved for the past 2 years is still in his heart but he's not the same. He's not really listening but he's not being ignorant on the other hand, everything just seems to sweep over him, that is until Harry is asked to stand up and make an appearance.

"Both Mr Styles' and Mr Malik are going to be helping alongside our undercover protection team, they'll be unknown faces amongst the underground scientists so we'll be able to find the mole."

Zayn shoots Harry a well deserved glare, but Harry only smirks excited at the prospect at being a spy and going undercover, it's every childhood fantasy coming true, it'll also look fucking amazing on his resume.

***

Niall squints his eyes and waves like a maniac once he spots Zayn sat in the drivers seat of his black Audi TT idling outside the entrance of Niall's university, it was a present from his father and he can't deny he grew up surrounded by affluence but he's pretty down to earth considering.

Niall waits for Zayn to unlock the passenger seat, shuffling inside flinging his leather shoulder bag into the back seats and grinning widely at Zayn.

Zayn doesn't smile back.

"Hi Zee," Niall says, furrowing his eyebrows and studying the boy for a few seconds, he's gripping the steering wheel as he stares with steely eyes out of the window where rain is pelting the floor.

"You lied to me."

"What?" is all Niall can mutter quietly not really sure where this conversation is heading, everything feels too tense and too surrounded.

Zayn shakes his head with a small contemptuous smirk."Niall you cannot lie to me now I know everything about you. Your high IQ, and the police protection programme, I know everything.  
So don't fucking lie to me!"

Niall just stares at Zayn not knowing what to do, before shaking his head and gripping the door handle in reverence.

"I thought that you of all people would understand. I guess this means that there's no one you can trust." He whispers, before turning to look at Zayn again, with droopy blue eyes before getting out of the car and slamming the door shut.

Shit, Zayn thinks, because he really has blown it now. He didn't actually mean for anything to happen the way it did, the last thing he wanted was to upset Niall that's never what he wanted, but he just blew all out of proportion with the darn anger he cannot control.

Driving home angry is not the best thing to do, he ends up speeding past traffic lights and flipping off an old lady who doesn't indicate before turning, it's all rather scandalous road rage.

To Niall:

Look babe I understand if you don't forgive me, but please trust me, that's all I ask of you.  
I love you, and forgive you.

From Zayn Malik.

  
***

9:32 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

Zaaaaayyyyynnn. I'm really upset :(  
That hot girl with the red skirt and big ass, Felicity, she's ignoring me.

  
9:32 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

Oh my god she's bending over to change the ink cartridge in the photocopier, it's reallllly big ;)

9:33 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

Dude I think it's the curls man. Should I straighten my hair like high school?

9:35 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

Dude! Stop ignoring me, I can see that you're checking your mail from the other side of the room.

9:40 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

Fine! Consider this 15 year friendship terminated. It's your loss, batman.

P.S Robin always wears tights. Tights are totally sexy.

9:45 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

Oh my god! It's a miracle, that hot chick accepted my number, she's not called Felicity though, she's called Betty.

Betty and Robin.

9:46 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

Sorry Batman. It's Betty and Robin now. You're just left with that stupid old waiter whose going to die anyways. Love you always my dear ex-husband x

9:46 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

We need to sort out our divorce.  
I want a hefty sum.

9:47 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

Oh and the bat mobile. Can't forget that.

9:49 To Harry Styles  
[HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk] From Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]:

He's not a stupid old waiter, he is in fact not a waiter but a butler called Alfred Pennyworth.  
Get your facts straight before you get a divorce.

9:50 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:

WHATEVER TREVOR

9:50 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:  
  
Aww is Zayn Malik, the hipster bad boy, crying??  
Don't worry darling.

9:51 To Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]  
From Harry Styles [HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk]:  
  
Betty's not replying to my texts. :(

9:56 To Harry Styles  
[HarryStyles.94@hotmail.co.uk] From Zayn Malik  
[ZaynJavaadMalik@Hotmail.com]:

You imbecile!  
Stop bloody spamming me!

  
***  
Zayn slides his wheely desk chair around the sliding panel, he's done most of the paperwork he got given by Mr Laniard that morning, but whenever he came to check upon the boy he always frowned at the  
E-Mails popping up onto the computer screen.

"Oh look at you Batman, come to get revenge?" Harry teases, there's mountains of photocopying piles with little paperclips on his desk each labelled with post stic notes of when they're to be done by. Zayn rolls his eyes at the fact that the peeking out at the top is from several days ago.

Zayn could pretty easily get out of his duties by fluttering his eyelashes and flashing dirty grin, but he's decided not to take this opportunity for granted like he's done hundreds of times; most include Harry.

"So Mr Malik, what's it like knowing your boyfriend is super intelligent. Bet he's good in bed, yeah?" Harry asks like a sports presenter wiggling his eyebrows villainously and making rather rude hand gestures and inviting some unwanted attention.

Zayn breathes out heavily leaning his head onto the wooden desk and playing with a set of key rings, just to occupy his fingers twitching for a cigarette by his side.

"I've fucked up Haz." He admits guilt burning up on his cheeks but Harry only shakes his head with a small sad sort of smile, he's not very good at comforting people he much prefers teasing them until they smile.

Bopping Zayn's nose several times with an obnoxious little 'bloop' each time, he erupts a little grin and an elbow in the ribs which leaves him out of breath and leaning back against the chair to gain it back.

"You deserved that."

Harry laughs, he knows he does.

Niall's outside his apartment that evening, he's not doing anything in particular, but the moon is out quite early and he just stares at trying to ignore the endless lines of numbers floating around his head.

During high school he didn't think anything of it, he'd listen to the teacher talk in his classes, write minimal notes and when the exams flew around that little speech would still be there in his brain, word for word, pause for pause, breath for breath.

His parents were ecstatic with his grades like any others would be, his brother rather envious to never actually seeing his little brother study but his report card would come around and it'd be A* next to each class he took, his parents were happy so a Niall didn't mention the fact that he was lonely.

After the IQ test, and his letter of immediate acceptance into the genius programme in an underground basement in London, things only got worse. People would slam files of paper onto his desk and ask him memorise every number, never forget a digit, it was very important that he never forgot.

University didn't really change anything, most other students would come out of lectures with reams and reams of notes; but Niall would just sit there tapping his leg to a random rhythm or playing some obnoxiously pixelated game on his mobile but for the next few months leading up to the exam every word the tutor uttered would be imprinted like a tattoo onto his brain.

He tried ignoring; blasting music at ridiculously loud levels, tried painkillers and even religious chanting to get the chattering to stop, but they were always there.  
Facts, figures, mindless gossip.

Zayn appears by his side with a lit cigarette and a sheepish little grin as he's stuttering mid-thought.

"I'm sorry," he whispers," I'm sorry that I'm the one you were supposed to trust."

Niall laughs lightly, plucking the cigarette from his mouth and pressing a kiss to where the death stick used to be.

"You're forgiven. Plus your text was kinda cute as well."

Zayn hums out a laugh, it's one of the reasons why he loves Niall so much, his human nature of 'not really giving a shit'.

He finishes his cigarette, they've both been pretty silent, Niall staring at the moon musingly, his lips pouted and his eyes a shimmery blue in the moonlight.

"I love you."

Niall links their fingers together, his eyes scrunched in concentration.

Zayn just smiles subtly.  
  
***

"Horan?" Niall tears his sight away from the page of encrypted of information, to stare at the psychology scientist whose in charge of his work; and in charge of his mental capability.

Mr Summer seems slightly tense leaning forward to hook his chin over Niall's shoulder and whisper into his ear, It makes Niall feel slightly uncomfortable but he listens anyway, he's always listening.

"There are some police inspectors who'd like to talk to you, if you wouldn't mind?"

Niall shakes his head, gathering up his paperwork and placing it into his leather bag, slinging it over his shoulder and following the scientist down the long series of basement corridors and into a secluded room in the back that he never saw on the tour.

"Good morning Mr Horan, I'm Detective Inspecotor Collins, and this is my junior, Liam Payne. " He gestures to a younger man flanking his left side, armed with a notebook and pen alongside a soft brown eyed smile.

"We'd just like to ask some questions before explaining our new undercover, it concerns your protection," he mutters casually as if not realising that Niall's life may or may not lie on a lifeline.

Nodding and settling himself in the chair arm folded onto the desk, Niall just sits trying not to listen but his brain catching onto the gist of every sentence anyway, storing it into the filing cabinet of his brain that still feels a little airy.

"Zayn? You're telling me that my boyfriend is going undercover in the programme for my protection!" He says, Payne just looks dumbfounded swivelling his eyes between his senior partner and the notebook in his hands.

"Well, yes to put it bluntly Mr Horan. Of course you know how important the work you do is, Mr Malik and Mr Styles will be given vital training and what not beforehand. Do not worry about the safety of your partner, it'll all be alright." He says with an assurance he cannot guarantee, but Niall stays silent before breaking out into shallow laughter at the thought of Harry trying to take the job seriously; he'll probably roll around on the floor and try to hide behind plot plants and yelping when Zayn's whacks him upside the head.

"Is that alright Mr Horan?" The detective inspector presses, and Niall just answers a positive before stalking out of the office.  
  
***

Niall wakes up the next morning with a nose pressed into the nape of his neck and a hand curved around his hip, he doesn't remember exactly when Zayn let himself into his apartment and snuggled into bed behind him but he welcomes the warmth anyway.

All he feels is Zayn's breath against his neck, breathing in and out, hot and warm like running water down his back, it's comforting and domestic as their legs intertwine beneath the thin cotton sheets.

Zayn stirs after a while humming a random tune into the little hairs at his neck and receiving a little shiver as he trails his fingers down the ridge of his spine.

"Morning Niall," he mutters in a sleep warm voice, that leaves Niall smiling lightly and curling his fingers around his wrist as Zayn brought his arm round to grip at his waist.

"Morning." He replies with a yawn shuffling back so that they both fall back against the sheets, and Niall can swing a leg over Zayn's hips which leaves him with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't be so dirty minded, I only wanted to give to a good morning kiss. You wanker." He says endearingly pressing a soft kiss to his lips and pulling apart with a small smirk," I'm going to make breakfast," he hums dropping a light kiss onto his jaw and chuckling softly as he leaves the bed.

Zayn sits by the windowsill, he can smell Niall frying eggs in the kitchen, but he much prefers a fag and a cup of black coffee. There are cars zooming past down below, red blue black silver, and he fumbles for a packet of cigs when they all blur into one.

Niall can see Zayn from the angle he is stood in the kitchen- a fag between his lips and a hand cupped around the lighter as he flickers it- he smiles in all its haziness; it's not a sight of particular happiness exactly but more of what he wants to be.

They sit on the sofa, Niall's hands harbouring a mug of tea, Zayn's of stark black coffee- Niall doesn't want to dig too deep into the mixture and stark contrast between them, but as he reaches for some toast on a plate between where their thighs should touch.

But as Zayn's gaze is enthralled by the television he finds himself doing it anyway.

Zayn brings the cup to his lips, the steam rising from it making his lips tingle. Taking a quick look over at Niall, whose got crumbs around his mouth and buttery fingers.

"It's weirdly domestic. I like it," he mutters with a shy smile.

"I know. The while waking up routine, morning kiss, breakfast," he replies, flashing Zayn a wide toothy grin.

"Except you haven't brushed your teeth. Naughty," he adds on with a chastising tone. He ends up jolting off the couch with a squeal, spilling tea everywhere as Zayn pounces on him with a feral growl.

"Heavenly domestic," he gasps, out of breath and shirt sopping and mouth twitching as Zayn leans in to kiss him.

***

"Hello?"

"Mr Malik, this is Junior Detective Payne, would you mind coming down to the office. Me Styles has already agreed."

"Oh but it's a Saturday, I don't work on a-,"

"This is urgent. Phase one of your training, please be here by 9am. Goodbye."

"Bastard," Zayn grumbles, pulling out his phone after stuffing it into his pocket and texting Harry with the same expletive. Before throwing it with a bounce on the bed and deciding to get changed, and make an appearance.

"Batman! How was it then?" Harry shouts from across the room, where's he again stood by the photocopying machine with an armful of papers.

Zayn grins devilishly, it seems that delaying deadlines with a fluttering of his eyelashes and cheeky wink has come to bite him in the ass.

"How was what?" He replies shortly, he knows exactly what Harry means, he's just not one to openly scream out about his love life.

They're interrupted by that Payne guy- who's really started to grind on Zayn's nerves with his detective inspector stature and boring brown eyed stare.

Harry stops short of whatever he was about to say, exaggeratedly winding at Zayn before turning his attention to Liam, who's stood in the middle of the room with a folded whiteboard.

Both Zayn and Harry stifle a laugh when Liam orders over a few of his colleagues to help set up the whiteboard, which he then writes on in his messy penmanship with a green marker, before turning back to face the duo personally.

'How to go undercover successfully in ten easy steps'. He clears his throat in an authoritative way, and opens his mouth to speak before being interrupted.

"Payno! Don't you mean spy?" A guy from the wildlife department bellows- Nick, Zayn thinks he's called, Harry's become rather fond of the guy- the one who deals with dead deer and beady eyed badger.

"No, Mr Grimshaw, first of all this matter does not concern you, and secondly the term 'spy' is very different from this type of undercover work.

This leaves Harry with a small pout as he mutters under his breath,"Wanted to be James Bond, Bastard Payno, won't let me be Bond."

Zayn learns quite a lot actually.

That they're not just keeping an eye on Niall, they're going to pretend to be fellow scientists working for the programme and try and track down the mole who's secretly bargaining Niall to the Russian mafia to extract the information from his mind.

It's all very technical and analytical, the script that Niall is learning is not just a bunch of numbers but the decodation of a nuclear arms system.

Russia and Japan have sent over spies to track down the files, but they've all been destroyed after Niall has memorised them, they just need Niall.

Zayn then suddenly gasps, it just hits him, Niall's in danger, his Niall is in danger and his safety lies in his hands.

Fuck, he thinks, he can't mess this up.


	2. Cough drop coloured tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're spies now, and Zayn's a little possessive and a little paranoid. Niall is still a genius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long. Hope you enjoy this Amy xx

"I don't get it," Harry whispers obnoxiously in Niall's ear, hiking his chin over his shoulder and earning a dirty look from Zayn who's guarding the door with intent.

"Don't get what?" Niall replies as he closes his eyes and runs the numbers through his brain one last time before throwing the last sheet of paper into the furnace with sigh.

"This whole thing," Harry says in a voice that's close to a child whining over candy.

Niall rolls his eyes with a shrug

***

This whole week, for Niall that is, has been pretty interesting, Zayn and Harry arrived sharp at 6am outside Niall's apartment on Monday morning with billowing white lab coats and dexter style glasses.

Niall had laughed until his stomach burnt and eyes teared, and Harry was extremely offended, ripping off the glasses and stomping his feet before running round the corner.

Zayn had simply smiled sheepishly, leaning into kiss Niall who'd accepted willingly, grabbing his collar and slamming him up against the wall of his hallway.

Geeky Zayn was bloody hot.

  
"Shit!" Zayn gasped breathless, flopping back down onto the bed with his arms tight around Niall who had was simply incoherently tired against his collarbones.

There was a timid set of knocks on the door,"Guys? It's Haz, lemme in?"

Zayn groaned awakening Niall from his little nap, he shifted Niall from his body with much protest slipping on some boxers from the floor- they were green so they were probably Niall's- before dragging his spent body over to the door plastering on a lax smile.

Harry was stood at the door with a now coffee stained lab coat, the glasses atop his messed up curls, his smile slightly embarrassed but no longer pissed off.

"God you've just got laid haven't you?"

Zayn nodded goofily, it was funny to tease the younger about anything and everything, his reactions would always be worth it.

Harry shrieked covering his eyes with his hands, but peeked through split fingers to see Niall clutching a pillow and giggling in the background.

After some awkward staring, Niall jumped out of the bed not really caring about covering up his nudity he was very shameless in that sense.

Harry shrieked slightly louder when he received a smack across his head by a rather unimpressed Zayn, one thing he couldn't stand was someone staring at his property.

"Breakfast anyone?" Niall asked once he'd made himself more suitably aquatinted to invite guests into his government gained apartment, which Zayn was very jealous of, with it's wooden flooring and large windows letting in a magnitude of both sunlight and moonlight.

It's at the breakfast bar where things really get funny, Niall's made his famous omelette and cheese special, it's only really special because he thinks adding a flourish of basil makes it seem all professional and whatnot; yeah he's a genius with a high IQ but he's hardly Jamie Oliver.

Harry gags whenever Zayn looks at Niall shimmying about to the radio behind the frying pan, like the sun shines out of his fucking ass and the rays are pure gold; it really is sickening how good they look together.

"Flirt with me." Zayn mouths at Niall across the table, gesturing towards Harry at the head of the table with an eggy knife who's watching the television, some news report of another government tax paying scandal.

Niall tries not to laugh, leaning across the table right in Harry eye line and licking the shape of Zayn's plump lips, watching him scowl and fold his arms, Zayn tries not to get carried away he really does but it's still 7am and they have to be at the office at 8am.

Plenty of time.

"Oh really guys? Really?!" Harry cries as Zayn hikes Niall across the table and carries him to his bedroom their lips attached the whole way, slamming the with the heel of his foot.

"I hate you!" Harry screams, throwing the dishes into the sink, before stalking out of the apartment slamming the door fiercely on the way out.

***

Zayn wasn't particularly possessive or protective, but whilst they were pretending to be enthralled by the engineering in the laboratory that Niall worked in; Zayn was simply more interested in a little brown haired boy with turquoise eyes who seemed to be hanging off his boyfriend.

He cleared his throat as he approached as if to mark his territory but the boy only narrowed his eyes at him, scooting closer to Niall,who was currently typing up his mental capability form for his psychologist, and whispering in his ear causing Zayn to harden in anger.

"Oh that's Zayn, he's new to the psychology department," Niall said turning to give Zayn a poignant look, that basically translated as 'stop it you ass! You're gonna blow your cover.'

And sometimes especially in times like these he knew that Niall was genius, the way he typed in that encrypted code line by line saying it to himself under his breathe, they just looked like numbers to Zayn, but to Niall they were everything.

Even Louis, a fellow damn genius Zayn thought, seemed to be enthralled his hands curled over Niall's shoulders as he watched, his eyes sparkling in something that resembled pride and Zayn would've pounced if Harry hadn't smashed a glass beaker on the other side of the room.

"Sorry," he muttered clumsily dropping to his knees to pick up the shattered pieces, Mr Tethers the head of the lab giving the pair swivelled eyes of disapproval.

Way to go Harry.

He remembers Payne's vital points of undercover work:

1\. Never let it get personal.

Well sorry Payne, Zayn thinks, things have just become bloody personal.

***

"Baby?" Zayn questions one day, it's been a pretty late night at the lab since Niall had wanted to input the rest of his details into the mental capability form before sending it through secure email to the MI5, there it'd be further scanned for accuracy before being destroyed by a technological virus; the rest was up to Niall and his amazing brain.

Niall hit send, sliding the info pack into the shredder before turning to face Zayn with a cocked eyebrow, the term 'baby' was only ever used in times of a particular sexual nature, or when the boy begged which Niall quite enjoyed; discreetly of course.

"Yeah?," he replied breathily twisting his head so it was lay on his shoulder his sloppy blond fringe tilting sideways.

Zayn darted his eyes around the room for a few seconds, he wasn't nervous per se of the response from Niall more of the fact that he didn't want to taint himself in the eyes of blue. Niall leaned back against the table popping a pen on the curve of his ear and folding his arms. After 10 more seconds of nervous silence, he laughed breathily.

"C'mon Malik, spit it out."

Zayn laughed stutteringly, his mouth turning up into a sarcastic little grin before stepping closer to Niall.

"Oh it's Malik now is it?" Niall nodded his smile only getting wider, his hands darting out it grip at Zayn's thin hips and tugging him that little bit closer.

"Yes Malik, tell me what you need." He whispered against the boys lips tracing his finger into the belt loop of his black dress pants, and watching Zayn flush that ever so lightly beneath his touch.

"Well... I just," he looked down at Niall, brown eyes hesitating," look babe, I just..."

Niall sighed insistently." I just want you to stay away from Louis okay? He's suspicious, and hovering and... and I just don't like him okay?" Zayn spat out hurriedly, lowering his head.

Niall laughed lightly, he knew that Zayn would fret over stuff such as this, he never wanted to seem protective or overly-protective, Zayn is far too simple for that clichéd shit.

Prying hands tug off he buttons of his lab coat and settle around his thin waist; because Zayn's always been the skinnier but surprisingly stronger one in the relationship.

"I know you can't help it," Niall says lips curling up into a little forgiving smile that Zayn takes with happiness, letting the glow flow through his body and the warm fingers to teeter along his collarbones, swirling around in little circles. Zayn just hums a response into Niall's ear, just wanting those chapped lips on his own, just wanting to melt into the soft kisses that Niall always pulls him into at completely random moments. They're always the best.

***

After that everything seemed to rush around, Harry would always end up at Niall's flat with a wide grin and a can of tinned soup at 6pm, it wasn't really ideal as Zayn was not used to having Niall all to himself and was quickly getting used to the idea; it was now becoming the norm.

They'd gather around the fireplace with mugs of tea and crumby plates of dark chocolate digestives, Harry crying in defeat whenever one broke and melted into his tea, creating a brown sloshy liquid that didn't look at all appetising. Everything was falling into place like a jigsaw.

"Oi! Get up Malik," Harry cried in Zayn's ear, he wasn't the easiest to wake up and Harry was left with the duty as Niall had gone to the store to fetch the coffee that helps Zayn become relatively cohereable at this time of the morning.

Zayn groaned and tossed in the sheets, bundling under the covers and trying to reach over to the left where there would normally be a heavy, warm body of boy.

"Fuck off Haz, only Niall calls me that." Zayn coughs swatting away the hands that come to tickle at his sides. They squabble for several minutes, falling to the floor and wrestling with elbow jabs and catcalls.

Niall walks into the rough housing beside his bed, with a click of his tongue and a sip of a iced macchiato, laughing catishly at the fact that Harry's in a headlock against the bed frame and is making grabby hands at Zayn's crotch to give it a good tug.

"Ow ow ow, you twat," Zayn howls covering the area and glaring at the boy whose laughing so hard his face has turned a bright red, and the oxygen is finding it hard to circulate around his body. Niall just rolls his eyes.

"Coffee's in the kitchen." He calls, making his way to the lounge room grabbing his phone from the counter and taking another sip of his iced coffee as he taps through Facebook.  
There's just random status updates from old college friends, and some photos he's been tagged in, all very boring and usual.

A message pops while he scrounges through an old friends profile, full of embarrassing birthday messages and equally disturbing photos, It's from Louis but he really is not surprised the boy has been texting him ever since he left the programme on his break.

"Babe?" Zayn's head pops round the door but he only winks at Niall as he spots his Starbucks cup on the coffee table, where Niall's stood slurping through a straw and trying to ignore the popping messages.

Zayn slaps his ass as he walks by, grinning wolfishly when Harry groans from where he's brushing his teeth by the bathroom door, lowering his head and going back into the room and slamming the door shut as a sign of non-disturbance.

Niall just smiles into his coffee commenting on Sean's profile, it's a horrific photo from their old high school days back in Ireland: 'lookin' fine mate ;), bad bleaching.'  
Another message pops up and he groans, clicking on the notification to get it over and done with.

Zayn quirks his eyebrow from where he's sat on the leather couch humorously absorbed into an MTV reality show, patting the worn leather beside him so Niall gets the message to sit down next to him.

"What's going on?" He asks through a gulping of coffee, his breath fanning warm and close against Niall's neck sending a little shiver along his spine.

Niall shrugs typing in a quick reply to Louis, that he cannot make it to the Christmas party this year as he's got other plans, the other boy seems rather eager though using lots of bad grammar and overly expressive emoticons.

Zayn laughs loudly at the mishaps of the slutty redhead on the screen, slapping his knees and jolting his coffee with little splatters against his worn grey sweats, turning to Niall with a toothy grin that fades as he spots Louis' name bouncing up onto the screen of Niall's phone.

"Why's he texting you?"

Niall sighs tiredly clicking his phone locked and placing it on the armrest before leaning his head onto Zayn's shoulder.

"Babe, he was just asking about the Christmas do at the lab alright? Noting major, okay, just that."

Zayn's body loosens up apologetically as he presses a soft almost invisible kiss to Niall's bare collarbones, like a little feather he can hardly feel. It's a sweet gesture especially since apologies are definitely not Zayn's forte.

Sitting up after another damning episode of the usual crap on television, he sits up gathering the paper cups and straws from the table muttering a long awaited," tell me if that little rat texts 'ya again, okay?"

Niall rolls his eyes grabbing the remote and hiking up knees so his chin rests atop the fragile bone before changing the channel and switching off the phone to cut off it's insistent buzzing from whoever.

"Sure mate, of course I'll do that." He coos back to the retreating figure which abruptly turns on him and quirks a dark eyebrow. "You want a little rough housing aye' Horan?"

***

The hotel room is cramped but Niall feels too vulnerable holding his most prized possessions to his chest, his guitar and his photo album. Harry's asleep in the bed snoring lightly making the curls hanging above his eyebrow shift to the left with every breath.

"What do you mean Payne! How the fuck could he escape, why wasn't I told he was a bloody suspect?" Zayn hisses from the bathroom, cradling the phone to his ear and gripping the shower frame with tensed hands.

Zayn feels lethargic and weak remembers his blood turning cold when he got that phone call, the way he shouted for Harry and grabbed Niall and bolted through the door.

The tension is still rolling off his body in waves making the room feel overly warm and a throbbing pulse to stem through his head. Niall looks at his boyfriend with a sad sort of smile no crinkle by his eyes or subtle blush dusting his cheeks. Zayn looks stressed, looks worn and tired, and when Niall curls them together on the bed so there noses are touching and breaths warm against lips he stays stony.

After a few short minutes when Niall's hair is tickling Zayn's chin as it's pressed against his chest a few soft fingers caress his back in slow and repetitive movements.

"We have to run."

Niall scrunches up his eyes and tries to act like he hadn't heard, because it's not as simple as it sounds, they can't just run, they have to lose contact with everyone and act like they never existed and blend into other people. Be invisible amongst 7 billion people, it sounds easy but people will be searching for them with loaded guns and hijacked families, they'll be hunted down like animals.

"Okay." He replies after a minute.

***

They're in Amazon with it's thick jungle terrain and humid weather sweat dribbling down their backs in thick globules. Niall's hair is fading, no longer sunshine blonde but a dark brown which sticks to his forehead and is slicked back every time a hand pushes it back.

They're in America, Dallas in Texas to be exact staying in a cheap motel all twisted limbs as they squeeze onto the sad excuse for a double bed, the crude bed springs bouncing next door and the air conditioner whistling every couple of minutes.

They're in Paris, Krakow, Vienna, Berlin, Mexico City, Shanghai and Sydney.

They try not to act like they're running, tried to make it seem like a travelling adventure around the world but sometimes you just need to stay in one place and settle down. Zayn finds that he watches too much, stands close to Niall in convenience stores and is always paranoid, searching for beady eyes and bulky jackets, everything's beating hearts and rushing blood. Adrenaline, adrenaline, adrenaline.

Venice is nice in October it's cool and lightly windy, bundles up in fury aviator jackets and black boots, the boat rocking lightly as they move across the water with bridges up ahead and Italian speech flowing though the air, Harry's smiling brightly and taking photos at every weird angle and awkward head shots. Zayn's subdued as usual but he gazes at the light in Niall's arctic eyes as he dips his fingers into the icy water as the boat moves at a steady pace he looks content; and Zayn just stops thinking and just stares and absorbs and breathes.

 

 


End file.
